Mothers are the greatest treasure! Where would we be without mothers? Where would we be without their love, their strength, their encouragement, their dedication? Yet, mothers are not perfect beings. It is easy to see their faults and fail to understand how they give of themselves sacrificially for our well-being. My mother died when I was just eleven years old. It took me many years, after having children of my own, to understand and appreciate what a true treasure she was. She was a strong, courageous woman. So, whether your mother has been in your life for eight years or eighty years, you can appreciate and love her just as she is. Below are three tips to consider when you wish to grow in appreciating your mother.
1. Think of her kindness
Take time to ponder deeply on the kind things she did or is doing for you. It is easy to bring to memory the ways we were hurt by something our mother said or did in the past, but thoughts of gratefulness, kindness and beauty transform not only our relationship but also our outlook on life. What are some acts of kindness that you received from your mother? What are you most grateful for? What actions of your mother have you taken for granted? Are you truly thankful for her?
2. Think of the deeper meaning of her actions
Consider how her actions reveal her heart and soul. The action choices we make reveal the state of our heart and soul. She may have prepared you meals when you were old enough to do so for yourself. Did you see her heart of loving kindness? She may have had a rough life and could not give you all that you wanted, but she gave you what she could. Did you discern her sacrificial love, her compassionate and thoughtful heart? Take time to contemplate on the motives behind your mother’s actions and you will see glimpses of her inner strength, her patient endurance and her faithful love. It takes time to engage in this search to discover her heart and soul, so it may be useful to express each new discovery you discern about your mother’s heart in a journal. As you discover the treasures of her heart, you grow in gratefulness and appreciation.
3. Grow in gratefulness
The relationship between mothers and children is often complex, but as you seek to identify big and small things about your mother, for which you are thankful, you find more reasons to express your appreciation. Appreciation is expressed in a variety of ways. What is important is what touches her heart most. Some mothers are truly grateful for a Mother’s Day card, others would prefer acts of kindness around the home. Other mothers are happiest simply with your presence with her for a dedicated time. To grow in expressing appreciation for your mother, observe her and ask yourself how best does your mother receive love? Is it through kind words, kind acts, time together? Remember, love is more than a feeling. Authentic love is directed towards the wellbeing of the other party, your mother, in this instance. So, appreciate your mother from your heart and in word and deed and you will find yourself growing in love!
Conclusion
It took me several years of pondering to understand my mother; her sacrificial love, how she actively lived her spirituality and her revolutionary courage. During an era when women were seen only as housekeepers, my mother became a seamstress, saved the money she earned, then opened a store, a clothing boutique, which was very successful. Sacrificially, she closed it after a while, for the sake of her marriage and the wellbeing of her children. Mother’s love, her spirituality and strength framed my own life.
I share with you the poem below that I wrote after a season of pondering on my mother.
Reaching My Mother’s Soul
My mother didn’t know it,
But I observed her every move.
I knew it was not polite, but I stared.
I couldn’t help it, even if I dared.
I watched her as I played childhood games,
And seeing her as I pretended to take my mid-afternoon nap,
That was a real test!
I saw her heart on many a day,
As she worked and sang and prayed.
I saw her joy and I saw her sorrow,
I saw her hope for a better tomorrow.
I saw her happy when she was really sad inside,
As from me her true feelings she could not hide.
I saw her downcast mood transformed,
When my brothers’ dancing antics, they performed.
And I observed it all silently.
The great awakening came the day she prayed,
As the frugal Thursday evening meal, she prepared.
She prayed that the family it would please,
And I observed God seal the deal!
Our humble meal became a bountiful feast,
Replete with a spirited bond of family joy.
And the delight in my heart I could not conceal.
I have no regrets about watching my mother,
For in the eleven short years of my life
Before her death,
I got to know her inner being,
I saw her tender heart,
And the Creator Spirit
That occupied her soul.
And I drank from her well!
- Higher Level Inspiration staffer Deacon Lorna Wynter-Goodison
